A Hidden Gem: Metro 2033

Our blind Let's Play of Metro 2033 is finished, guys. We destroyed the Dark Ones with the same nuclear fires that birthed them, hopefully providing a modicum of peace to the Metro before the next threat comes over the horizon.

Tom Sea and I both loved this game, being practically perfect in almost every way (do yourself the service of playing the game in its native Russian for the truest experience).  The items in the game's favor are numerous, but what impressed me the most about it and why it receives such lofty praise from the Sons is the atmosphere. Skulking around the pitch-black tunnels of  the ruined metro, trying to avoid both man and beast, keeps you on the edge of your seat in a way I haven't felt since I played the first Metal Gear Solid all those years ago. Even the stations practically drip with a realist feel as the survivors of the Last Great War huddle together to eke out some survivability from practically every resource they can.

I don't say this very often, but this is a game that I feel rivals BioShock in almost every regard (and I love, love, love BioShock). Traveling the tunnels, I got flashbacks of walking the narrow corridors of Rapture, the glass standing between me and the Atlantic reminding me just how trapped I was in that former submerged Eden. The metro tunnels are almost the only slightly welcoming place in Metro in that regard as well. The above-ground, like the ocean that surrounds Rapture, is a place not meant for man, being more dangerous than the metros by many folds.

But game feel isn't everything, and Metro keeps that in mind with a surprisingly gripping story of a young man's journey through the new world created by war. The NPCs and player companions form a very real-feeling support background which helps Artyom grow along each leg of his journey and inform his decisions and choices down the line. One level in particular sticks out as Khan, the magician of the metro, led me through the tunnels, showing that not everything in this world was a threat to man; it was simply the next stage of life in the world, and men should move along with it. A stark contrast to Miller, a ranger commander who imparts one crucial bit of advice to Artyom, "If it's hostile, you kill it."

It's rare when games encourage actual player learning over heaping rewards on them, and I feel it was a good choice for a game where survival is paramount objective. Yes, as the game progresses, new gear and guns become available, but unlike a Fallout, which ammo and health is fairly plentiful, the restrictions applied to their use through ammo shortages make a player think twice about engaging every enemy he passes. The guns, by the way, use mostly crappy homemade rounds which pale in comparison to today's "good bullets," which make even the most threatening-looking of weapons less effective against the strongest beasts that Metro has to offer. So it behooves that play to use every scrap of knowledge he's picked up during the game--avoiding danger, finding alternate paths, making every single shot count--to survive, not simply to hold down the trigger and wait for the muzzle flash to die down.

In the end, it all comes together to make a true gaming treasure. The only thing I ever knew about the game before playing it is that it had gas masks and funky homemade guns. What I got was a great gaming experience that kept me interested throughout its whole length and one I'll remember fondly for a long time.

Metro 2033 is available for PC (you can buy it on Steam for probably less than ten bucks) and Xbox 360. Its sequel, Last Light, will be released Q1 2013 and will be for PC, Xbox, and PS3.

--D Marx

An Unbiased, Totally Fair Piece on why the NCR is Awesome and You Suck for Not Liking Them* (Part 1)

Okay guys. I'm pulling back the curtain for reals. The past few posts/articles/pieces/whatevers, I've made mention to New Vegas (*cough* the best game of this gaming generation*cough*), but this is going to be the first article fully devoted to New Vegas. It's gonna get geeky. It's gonna get political-y. It's gonna get fanboy-y. So...you know...just be ready for that.

I'm just gonna start off with a pretty non-inflammatory statement: Caesar's Legion can seriously go suck a rusty railroad spike and is consistently terrible. I've heard people who actually defend this faction of monsters in men's skin, saying "Oh well Caesar actually protects his lands from raiders" and "Caesar is trying to build a whole culture, not just a nation" and "Caesar isn't just waging a war on the NCR, he's winning the war against post-apocalyptic childhood obesity!" I think some people may actually kind of romanticize the Legion: the NCR to them is the capitalist bourgeois where the wealthy exercise political power by putting caps in the pockets of those who make the NCR's policies. And on the surface, it probably makes sense to fall in line with the Legion. The strong, the worthy, the clever lead the lesser men, having their talents recognized by their superiors. If you're a dude. This is the first real pitfall of the Legion, and that is the fact that it's totally sexist: women are slaves, alternating between heavy labor and a different kind of labor...you know, the kind with babies. Hopefully most women who play the game are smart enough to realize that's enough of a reason to realize that the Legion is pretty much less-than-human scum.

"But D Marx," I can hear you say through my magical powers of the Mystic Ear, "hating women isn't the only thing the Caesar does. Caesar is all about making something better than yourself, building a society one bloody step at a time." I know the Legion is pretty much just an allegory for a fascist dictatorship (did I say allegory? I meant to say that's exactly what it is without any question), the foundation of which is that your life belongs to the state, and your purpose is to make the state strong. And that's pretty much it. Something that I don't think a lot of people know is that fascism is based on several crucial ideas, not the least of which is a state of perpetual war. Caesar has already overseen the conquest of eighty-seven tribes (if this DLC armor is to be believed), and has his sights set on the NCR, a true rival to his own power. But what comes after that? Take a break? NOPE. Off to find some other, lesser jerks to, you know, enslave, terrorize, rape, and murder.


Anyway, that's part one done. I'll talk a little more about why the NCR rules and a little less why the Legion sucks next time.


*If you like the NCR then you do not suck.

D Marx's Top 5 Flash Games from Onemorelevel.com!

In the wake of our fabulous flash games podcast, I was inundated with emails from you loyal listeners reading: "Hey D Marx! Tell me what flash games I should play! I've never heard of the internet or search engines before!"

After getting over the irony of that last sentence, I set out to scour my favorite flash game website, onemorelevel.com, for my top 5 games to recommend to our listeners. These games are guaranteed to help you waste an afternoon or twelve at your boring place of business or education. So, rolling down from number 5, let's get this show on the road so I can go back to totally not looking at internet porn.

Number 5: 4, 5, 6 Differences

Okay these are all pretty much the same: your standard "spot the differences" flash game. What sets them apart is the ultra-relaxing soundtrack and the truly unique art style of ivoryboy, which brings an almost disturbing realness into the pictures in front of you. Heck, just leave the game on and have the music play if nothing else.

Also, I don't remember which game it's in, but how creepy is that moose-man in the subway level?

Number 4: Castle Clout: Return of the King

This game is like Angry Birds (I think), but instead of birds, you use a medieval trebuchet. And instead of pigs, you try and kill off enemy soldiers and kings. I call that an improvement.

Number 3: Learn to Fly 2

 Some people say penguins can't fly. The little penguin in this game has always heard that and decided that all they need to fly is a giant ice slope and a hang glider with a rocket attached to it. Learn to Fly 2 is part flash game, part thrilling drama, part documentary, but mostly it's just a flash game. However, seeing that little penguin flying along the surface of the Antarctic Ocean at 100 miles an hour is quite a joy, especially when you finally reach the end goal.

Number 2: Monster's Den: The Book of Dread

This game is as close to a classic Dungeons and Dragons-style dungeon crawl as you probably can get in a flash game. You'd think that it would get board after the billionth level of dungeon full of undead or drunken dwarves or evil cultists, but the sheer amount of random loot and dungeons combined with the ability to sell off old gear and the sheer number of possible number of teams would make Gary Gygax get a raging DMing boner. Again, a few tips: you're going to want a cleric. Or two. Or an entire team of them. The sheer versatility of the cleric makes them indispensable in the dungeon. Capable of casting healing and offense spells, wearing the heaviest armor, and wielding both shields and their own custom item, the censer, clerics put just about every other class to shame (although rangers aren't slouches either).

Number 1: Scuba

This game is beautiful, simple, and nearly flawless. Like Minecraft, this game is based around gathering resources, which you use to build upgrades and to rebuild the engine of your spaceship (except you trade in your archaic pickax with a top-of-the-line laser). The calming soundtrack only adds to the fun you have exploring down to the absolute depths of the randomly-seeded environment, and it's definitely worth replaying just to try and beat your previous time.

That's it for now, loyal readers/listeners/watchers/whateverers. Enjoy these games with my complements.

--D Marx

Hey guys, do you love animal crossing music as much as I do? This site automatically changes on the hour and plays the music that WOULD be playing in animal crossing at that time. I love it with all my heart. Stay up til 2am for the SOVOP intro! Also stay up til 3am for a sweet bassline!

http://tane.us/ac/

VGM the Best!

Hey readers! Check out VGM the Best on Twitter to download the latest collection of assorted video game music from across the generations. Volume 4 is the most recent release, and Vols 1, 2, and 3 are great too. Wholly Sons of Vidya endorsed.

--D Marx

Borderlands 2: Collector's Edition

Guys. Check out the Borderlands 2 super edition thing. So much cool 'swag' and 'loot.' Borderlands is a perennial favorite of the Sons and we are unbelievably excited for the sequel coming in Q4. We're gonna play the s out of it and you lucky ducks are probably gonna get to WATCH IT. YEAH. EXCITEMENT.

The Art of (Video Game) War

Like I said in the last post, video games are pretty violent. So it should be little surprise that so many games involve war. I mean, 'war' and 'violence' go together like peanut butter and jelly, or peanut butter and jelly and bread. It so happens that most people only really know about fighting wars comes through media, including video games. But video games, like almost everything else ever, gets some things pretty wrong when it comes to how good men and women blast the living bejezzus out of each other.

1. Giant, bipedal robots would not be efficient at anything other than falling over. Hilariously.

The culprits: Metal Gear Solid series, Armored Core series, Front Mission series, every Mobile Suit Gundam game ever

Okay kids, let's talk. You best count your lucky stars that you can walk out of your house with falling over like a 1920s slapstick film. Humans aren't what anyone would call stable. You know how cats and dogs have four legs? And tails? Ever try pushing a dog over? It's pretty hard, because dogs are extremely balanced. Give your neighbor a push (note, I am not condoning that), and there's a good chance they'll land on the ground (maybe in a pile of dog poop if you're a comedy master). Humans are tall and top-heavy, and even other animals similar to us like chimpanzees and gorillas use their front arms to walk for stability.

Now, taking what we've just learned about humans and their nearly miraculous ability to not fall over in a stiff wind, let's apply that to a several ton bipedal robot made out of heavy metals and standing several stories high. Unless your plan is to have them fall en masse onto your enemies (which may be against the Hague convention but would make a damn good highlight reel), it would not be particularly practical. Even AT-ATs, which have the benefit of a pair of pair of legs can't stay up after a few passes of a Rebel tow cable.

2. Invading America would only end in tears. For everyone who isn't an American citizen.


The culprits: World in Conflict, Modern Warfare 2&3, Homefront

To the best of my knowledge, the United States of America has been invaded four times since the end of its revolution, the last being in the Second World War II when the Japanese invaded Alaska to try and cripple the American naval power in the Pacific. After that, when the whole 'Cold War' thing happened and America became the go-to superpower in the world, with an ever-present threat of those damn Commies sailing across the Atlantic on their boats made of Marx's manifesto.

But, when it comes to war, the United States is not a place that screws around even for a second. Seeing as the country accounts for almost half the military spending of the world (as in, the US spends half and then everyone else on the planet spends the rest). The United States is in the god-tier of military tournament characters, with one of the largest, best-trained, and most well-equipped military forces on the planet. Now, you astute observers of history will say "But D Marx, the American military lost a war against a bunch of crazy dudes in jungle, and couldn't win a war against two very poorly equipped Middle Eastern nations, getting into a quagmire in both situations against foes that really should've been finished in months if not weeks."

Which kind of then proves my point. Americans, by and large, love America. And most would not take even a little bit kindly to someone speaking a different language driving a bunch of tanks all over their front lawns. Considering how everyone in the history of mankind thinks that Americans are gun-crazy, it's likely that every major city in the US would, according to some guy I read on the internet, "a mini-Stalingrad." Not to mention the fact that not only would the United States armed forces (again, one of the most powerful armies in the history of the world) would be worrying about defending truth, justice, and the American way, but they'd also be jetting around the globe and beating the living daylights out of whoever's invading America. Bad.

3. Not everyone knows how to fly a helicopter, plane, or drive a tank.


The culprits: Almost every war game ever made, with few exceptions

As any person who's actually done any of these activities before can tell you, one does not simply walk into a tank and drive it towards a group of unfortunate enemy soldiers (cue outdated Boromir meme). Tanks are pretty complicated pieces of machinery, in case you hadn't noticed. It's not like driving a car or riding a bike (although I'm told once you learn how, you never forget). Tanks weigh a lot, are hard to move, oh, and don't forget, don't have wheels. Not to mention the fact that a modern tank has a crew of about four: one to drive the thing, two to work the main gun and other armaments, and one to coordinate everyone else. And this is all pretty specialized training that soldiers devote their entire careers to doing, along with all the maintenance and repair that goes into keeping a modern army rolling.

Same goes to aircraft, only much more so. Flying a helicopter or a plane, takes a lot of know-how, just like driving a tank, and very few people in their right minds would fly solo. There's a lot of information for a single person to process, which is why just about every modern aircraft is a tandem deal--a pilot to actually fly the plane, and a copliot (or whatever they're called, I certainly can't be bothered to look it up) to do just about everything else, including tracking targets, shooting at targets, and making sure that the pilot doesn't get them both killed to death.

4. Oh, and how about that sniping is a solo task, too?


The culprits: Pretty much any game that features a sniper rifle

Okay, I'll be the first to admit: sniper rifles are pretty cool. Rugged, accurate, deadly, what's not to love, right? The image of a lone sniper, watching over a ridge for enemy movements, picking off unfortunate stragglers of an enemy force is pretty ingrained in the social consciousness of war. And, in case you haven't figured this out by reading this article, it's pretty darn wrong. Almost every good sniper post-World War II operates in a two-soldier cell called a sniper team. Sniping is a pretty exact science--the targets a sniper needs to hit happen to be at a considerable distance, in which any number of things (wind, weather, distance, target movement, cover) can throw off a potential killshot. So, while a sniper is hard at work actually aiming at their target, his partner--called a spotter-- is worrying about just everything else, including making sure that the team isn't snuck up on and murdered to death. Oh, and a spotter does other cool stuff like call down artillery or perform surveillance on the enemy and report it back to HQ, and is also a damn fine marksmen himself, since spotters and snipers switch duties.

That's it for now guys. Thanks for your support as always, and keep up the good work...whatever it is.

--D Marx