An Unbiased, Totally Fair Piece on why the NCR is Awesome and You Suck for Not Liking Them* (Part 1)

Okay guys. I'm pulling back the curtain for reals. The past few posts/articles/pieces/whatevers, I've made mention to New Vegas (*cough* the best game of this gaming generation*cough*), but this is going to be the first article fully devoted to New Vegas. It's gonna get geeky. It's gonna get political-y. It's gonna get fanboy-y. So...you know...just be ready for that.

I'm just gonna start off with a pretty non-inflammatory statement: Caesar's Legion can seriously go suck a rusty railroad spike and is consistently terrible. I've heard people who actually defend this faction of monsters in men's skin, saying "Oh well Caesar actually protects his lands from raiders" and "Caesar is trying to build a whole culture, not just a nation" and "Caesar isn't just waging a war on the NCR, he's winning the war against post-apocalyptic childhood obesity!" I think some people may actually kind of romanticize the Legion: the NCR to them is the capitalist bourgeois where the wealthy exercise political power by putting caps in the pockets of those who make the NCR's policies. And on the surface, it probably makes sense to fall in line with the Legion. The strong, the worthy, the clever lead the lesser men, having their talents recognized by their superiors. If you're a dude. This is the first real pitfall of the Legion, and that is the fact that it's totally sexist: women are slaves, alternating between heavy labor and a different kind of labor...you know, the kind with babies. Hopefully most women who play the game are smart enough to realize that's enough of a reason to realize that the Legion is pretty much less-than-human scum.

"But D Marx," I can hear you say through my magical powers of the Mystic Ear, "hating women isn't the only thing the Caesar does. Caesar is all about making something better than yourself, building a society one bloody step at a time." I know the Legion is pretty much just an allegory for a fascist dictatorship (did I say allegory? I meant to say that's exactly what it is without any question), the foundation of which is that your life belongs to the state, and your purpose is to make the state strong. And that's pretty much it. Something that I don't think a lot of people know is that fascism is based on several crucial ideas, not the least of which is a state of perpetual war. Caesar has already overseen the conquest of eighty-seven tribes (if this DLC armor is to be believed), and has his sights set on the NCR, a true rival to his own power. But what comes after that? Take a break? NOPE. Off to find some other, lesser jerks to, you know, enslave, terrorize, rape, and murder.


Anyway, that's part one done. I'll talk a little more about why the NCR rules and a little less why the Legion sucks next time.


*If you like the NCR then you do not suck.

D Marx's Top 5 Flash Games from Onemorelevel.com!

In the wake of our fabulous flash games podcast, I was inundated with emails from you loyal listeners reading: "Hey D Marx! Tell me what flash games I should play! I've never heard of the internet or search engines before!"

After getting over the irony of that last sentence, I set out to scour my favorite flash game website, onemorelevel.com, for my top 5 games to recommend to our listeners. These games are guaranteed to help you waste an afternoon or twelve at your boring place of business or education. So, rolling down from number 5, let's get this show on the road so I can go back to totally not looking at internet porn.

Number 5: 4, 5, 6 Differences

Okay these are all pretty much the same: your standard "spot the differences" flash game. What sets them apart is the ultra-relaxing soundtrack and the truly unique art style of ivoryboy, which brings an almost disturbing realness into the pictures in front of you. Heck, just leave the game on and have the music play if nothing else.

Also, I don't remember which game it's in, but how creepy is that moose-man in the subway level?

Number 4: Castle Clout: Return of the King

This game is like Angry Birds (I think), but instead of birds, you use a medieval trebuchet. And instead of pigs, you try and kill off enemy soldiers and kings. I call that an improvement.

Number 3: Learn to Fly 2

 Some people say penguins can't fly. The little penguin in this game has always heard that and decided that all they need to fly is a giant ice slope and a hang glider with a rocket attached to it. Learn to Fly 2 is part flash game, part thrilling drama, part documentary, but mostly it's just a flash game. However, seeing that little penguin flying along the surface of the Antarctic Ocean at 100 miles an hour is quite a joy, especially when you finally reach the end goal.

Number 2: Monster's Den: The Book of Dread

This game is as close to a classic Dungeons and Dragons-style dungeon crawl as you probably can get in a flash game. You'd think that it would get board after the billionth level of dungeon full of undead or drunken dwarves or evil cultists, but the sheer amount of random loot and dungeons combined with the ability to sell off old gear and the sheer number of possible number of teams would make Gary Gygax get a raging DMing boner. Again, a few tips: you're going to want a cleric. Or two. Or an entire team of them. The sheer versatility of the cleric makes them indispensable in the dungeon. Capable of casting healing and offense spells, wearing the heaviest armor, and wielding both shields and their own custom item, the censer, clerics put just about every other class to shame (although rangers aren't slouches either).

Number 1: Scuba

This game is beautiful, simple, and nearly flawless. Like Minecraft, this game is based around gathering resources, which you use to build upgrades and to rebuild the engine of your spaceship (except you trade in your archaic pickax with a top-of-the-line laser). The calming soundtrack only adds to the fun you have exploring down to the absolute depths of the randomly-seeded environment, and it's definitely worth replaying just to try and beat your previous time.

That's it for now, loyal readers/listeners/watchers/whateverers. Enjoy these games with my complements.

--D Marx

Hey guys, do you love animal crossing music as much as I do? This site automatically changes on the hour and plays the music that WOULD be playing in animal crossing at that time. I love it with all my heart. Stay up til 2am for the SOVOP intro! Also stay up til 3am for a sweet bassline!

http://tane.us/ac/

VGM the Best!

Hey readers! Check out VGM the Best on Twitter to download the latest collection of assorted video game music from across the generations. Volume 4 is the most recent release, and Vols 1, 2, and 3 are great too. Wholly Sons of Vidya endorsed.

--D Marx

Borderlands 2: Collector's Edition

Guys. Check out the Borderlands 2 super edition thing. So much cool 'swag' and 'loot.' Borderlands is a perennial favorite of the Sons and we are unbelievably excited for the sequel coming in Q4. We're gonna play the s out of it and you lucky ducks are probably gonna get to WATCH IT. YEAH. EXCITEMENT.